Important Conversations to have Before Getting Married
The Wedding Day is just the beginning! Couples can get so excited about planning the big day that they forget to plan the rest of their lives together. There are some very important questions and topics that you need to talk about before tying the know. The wedding is the start of so much more, so you need to get started on the correct foot. Make sure that you discuss the following!
Show me the money!
Finances can be one of the biggest stressors on a new relationship. Make sure that you are solid beforehand on your budget and how much should be allocated to all of your necessary expenses. Don’t forget to talk about savings for the future as well as recreational budget! Both are very important not to skip!! Set up your financial priorities — are you saving to buy a house, pay off a debt, prepare for children, or any other financial goals that you have coming up? Set your goals before you say your vows!
Once you set up your priorities, talk about who is responsible for which of the bills. Once you make it legal, the money won’t belong to just one person no matter what working arrangement you decide on. It is so very important to make sure that one partner doesn’t feel like they are just the bank teller and that the other doesn’t feel like they need to ask permission to use some of the family’s money.
One of our favorite parts of the budget to talk about is setting aside funds for recreational activities. Traditions, date nights, and personal recreation are all very important. Determine an amount that you will be setting aside no questions asked for fun!
Map out your Life Goals
Since you will be making a life together, you will want to know your future spouse’s goals and ambitions? Do they want to go back to school, are they on their desired career path, where do they want to live? There are so many variables that might be important to your partner that you never learned! You want to make sure that your goals are communicated to them as well. Neither of you should be asked to give up a goal of yours because you never talked about it.
Kiddos
People grew up in very different family units, and it is important for you to understand the family that your betrothed came from in order to understand the family that they want to create. Do they want a lot of kids or maybe they don’t want to have kids at all. Are they interested in adopting? Do they have children from a prior relationship and who will they live with? You will be creating a family unit and you will need to know what the other person has planned for their future.
Communication Styles
The grounds of a good marriage is communication! Do you like to talk through conflict as it happens or do you prefer to think it over before resolving the issue? Do you like talk about your day when you first get home or do you need some time to relax? Each person has a unique communication style and it will play on their love language, so be sure to know to best express yourself in an effective way. And above all, listen!
There are many important topics to discuss in order to make sure that you start your marriage on the same page. Time to start talking!